When I look at the cross, the first thoughts are not salvation or sacrifice. The cross reminds me of choices. Isaiah 53 gives a great account of Jesus' story and his brutality. It reminds me that Jesus chose to endure, and that he had no beauty or majesty to attract us to him; nothing in his appearance that we should desire him (vs 2). For us to pursue Jesus, we would have to look into His eyes, or touch His cloak. Both would require us to get close to Him.
Imagine this: Jesus is in the garden of Gethsemane and the weight of the worlds sin has just caused the Son of God to sweat blood. You are standing right next to Jesus and He stretches His hand out to you. Jesus invites you saying: "will you come with me to the garden? Will you embrace the cross? Will you open your heart fully to me? I am inviting you into the fellowship of my sufferings. I understand that there is the possibility of you turning away from me and that would bring me great sorrow, but there is no other way to purify a heart except through the fire of my all consuming love."
Did fear show up? If there is one thing I know about fear, it's it inhibits our relationship with God. Fear changes your mentality where you think you are a sinner who sometimes loves God but, in reality, you are a lover of God who sometimes sins. Fear lets us forget that at the foot of the cross, everybody looks the same.
God pursues us individually through the power of purity. God will never force us to choose Him...NEVER! Because His love is the true example of 1 Corn 13-- love that is not freely given is not love at all. This also reminds me of the story of the Prodigal Son (Luke 15)-- the son wasted half of his fortune on drunkenness, prostitutes, gambling... yet when the son walked back in shame the father didn't shut him out, lock the gates, and say, "you chose your bed now lie in it." Rather, the father picks up his cloak (shaming himself) and runs after his son. Remember this: your flaws do not determine who you are or your worth; any darkness you may have magnifies your true beauty because it shows endurance, character, and how God pursued you.
John 4 is about the Samaritan women and in vs 4 is says that "Jesus had to go through Samaria." Think about the timing-- it wasn't after the women's first, second or third husband. No... it was when she was living with the fifth man. Yet, Jesus STILL pursued her and waited for her to show up. Then you have Zaccheaus in Luke 19 where he went ahead of Jesus, climbed up a sycamore-fig tree and waited for Jesus. What does Jesus do? In Whit's 21st century version, "Zach! Get down from there immediately so we can go to dinner together!. I have been expecting you!" Christians everywhere-- there is no condemnation for those who are in Jesus Christ (Rom 8:1).
God will never stop placing Himself in the paths of those He loves... and it will always be your choice to say yes or no to Him.
God surrounded me with nature for my entire life. It is in the moments of stillness that when I listened long and often I could hear Jesus' heartbeat. God has shown me his fingerprint in nature. God is our one true love and the ultimate pursuer.
In any pain, God is still worth praising. May you know Jesus with your eyes closed.
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